Yeah...Russian Missle My ASS!

At around 8:00a.m. on December 9, 2009...the skies over Norway were lit up with some of the craziest shit to ever be seen. For around 2-3 minutes, a white and blue spiral appeared in the sky, and stemming from the center of it was a blue light. And after hundreds of photos and videos were taken, the spiral disappeared...quickly turning to blackness from the inside out.

Well...what the fuck is that?

The explanation...that the display was the result of an embarrassing failed test launch of a new Russian test missile. The Russian Ministry of defense claims that the Bulava missile was test-fired from the Dmitry Donskoi submarine in the White Sea early on Wednesday but failed at the third stage.According to a spokesman, "The missile's first two stages worked as normal, but there was a technical malfunction at the next, third, stage of the trajectory." Russian defense analyst Pavel Felgenhauer stated to AFP that "such lights and clouds appear from time to time when a missile fails in the upper layers of the atmosphere and have been reported before ...

Hmmm...now I'm no expert. But there is no way in hell that was a missile failure. I don't think they quite thought that one through. When missiles fail, yes they may spiral...but it is far from a perfect spiral. Let's be honest, how many people can even draw a perfect spiral? Let's take a look at what a missile looks like when it fails and spirals out of control...shall we?

Now to be fair...there may be some people who think that could have possibly been the explanation for the Norwegian Spiral. Those people being the deaf-dumb-blind-AND-retarded. I mean come on...there's no fuckin way! And even if this were a missile... since when is it okay to just fire off missiles without informing the countries around you? The Russians excuse for not releasing the information right away was because they were "embarrassed."


Yeah...well with that explanation...I'd still be pretty fuckin embarassed!


To top it all off, the Russians explained that the Bulava missile has had 11 test launches since 2005...and it has failed almost all of them.


If some of you still think this is a valid explanation...then I'd love to hear the explanation for why the same thing happened in the skies of China...for 5 consecutive nights...in 1988!

So just what the fuck are these spirals? For now...just something else for us to sweat.